In his six talks at Harvard entitled “The Unanswered Question,” Leonard Bernstein ended the final lecture (“The Poetry of the Earth”) by saying, “I’m no longer quite sure what the question is, but I do know that the answer is yes.”
On most days, our tendency is to scan our environment, react swiftly, and take immediate action based on our perceptions of what we believe we’ve witnessed and how we think we should manage it. These automatic responses often establish the repetitive patterns of our daily lives, resulting in a sense of restlessness, a craving for control, and a scarcity of peace and joy. We speed-read every moment, scanning for fouls, errors, differences of opinion, and anything that can help affirm our biases.
Individually and collectively, especially in our Western mindset, we believe our ‘no’ radar is flawless. Without practices that prompt us to step back and observe it objectively, this radar can take control of our minds and shape the narratives we tell ourselves.
What would it look like to cultivate a ‘yes’ radar? A radar that is catholic (universal) in its understanding that our neighbor is important, our Earth is important, and how we navigate and transform these connections is of utmost importance. What if we could learn to tap into the radar that always reports back with the memo: “Everything is happening for good”? How much beauty could blossom if our radars focused on the positive flow within and around our lives, rather than fixating on resistance that breeds unhelpful narratives?
When we allocate minimal or no time for genuine observation, moments of pause, and thoughtful reflection, we are signing up to eventually become a victim of our circumstances. Yet, we have a choice. When we choose to allow ourselves to fully taste the inexplicable nuances of the universe and explore the intricate spaces uniquely curated for us and our individual stories, we enhance our ability to discover the subtle clues guiding our divine and profound journeys.
Indeed, ‘yes’ becomes our reflex to all of the unanswered questions along our paths when we make the habits of tasting and seeing a part of our daily lives.
“Happiness at any given moment equals reality minus expectations.” Brad Stulberg
“The first rule of a happy life is low expectations. That’s one you can easily arrange. And if you have unrealistic expectations, you’re going to be miserable all your life.” Charlie Munger
“People often think that something “far off” will make them happy. That moving to a new place or getting a different job or meeting someone new will change how they feel. But happiness will always be withheld if you believe it is somewhere else. The secret is to find happiness in the people and places that are close to you. See the beauty in the things that are nearby.” James Clear
No one has ever planted a seed and held on.
You have to let it go.
Plant.
Let go.
Plant.
Let go.
This is the pattern that accelerates the serendipity of our lives.
As this serendipity accelerates, you then begin to swap your close-fisted expectations for open-handed anticipation of what just may start to flow your way.
#TonyHsieh
As January 1 arrives, I find myself naturally drawn to introspection. Yet, in this annual ritual, I’ve noticed a recurring theme: my reflections often emanate from a place of ego rather than genuine self-awareness or connection to my soul. I assess my standing in the grand tapestry of my professional life, as a father, a husband, and beyond. Regrettably, the ego tends to hijack these contemplations, leading me into a realm of imaginary metrics, weighing scales, and Excel sheets, creating an illusion of improved control today over yesterday. I admit, it’s a deceptive mindset.
Today, more than ever, I am acutely aware that by immersing myself in a beautiful state of consciousness, everything eventually aligns and harmonizes – like a river flowing seamlessly. What does it mean to step into our days with such grace?
In the wise words of Henry Nouwen, it starts with the daily acknowledgment that ‘we are not defined by what we do, what we possess, or others’ perceptions of us’. Cleansing the mental windshield of these three illusions allows me to perceive the world through more beautiful eyes. Time slows down, the seemingly monumental challenges lose their weight, and the mundane transforms into sacred moments of the present.
I share this not as a cliché, but as a reminder that if you aspire to a better life, begin with a conversation focused on subtraction rather than addition. As the veils of illusion are lifted, you’ll discover that life itself is a gift. Regardless of the stage you find yourself in, a state of beautiful and grateful consciousness serves as the most remarkable guide through that chapter of life’s journey.
Beautiful eyes will eventually lead you to beautiful places.
Ashton.Gustafson 